Friendships

What makes a friend?  What kind of friend am I?  These are questions I pose this morning because of something that has happened, yet again.  I may be equally as bad and that is certainly my concern as I write this down.

To me a friend is someone who shares common interests and goes out of their way to spend some quality time now and then.  A friend always wants to know what is going on in your life, how it makes you feel and listens when you speak.  A friend accepts your short comings, and still likes you.  Friends are always ready to help, even if it is inconvenient.  A friends door is always open and a cup of coffee is waiting.   A friend is there through the good and bad times.  It doesn't matter if I see my friend on a daily basis, just knowing I can pick up the phone and call and they are there with an open heart, oh yes, that is a friend.  A friend makes you feel like the most important person in the world to them, they are concerned, caring and prepared to drop everything to help you out.  I pray I am that kind of friend too.

Usually this person comes into your life because of common interests.  So saying this I realize that through my life as my interests have changed, so have friends.  When I was a kid, my nearest and dearest friends were my classmates.  Most of them shared farm life, 4-H, and school with me.  Some of them have remained friends to this day.  We visit now and again and find a way to keep up with each other's life.  Many have gone their way and as hard as that was after we graduated, it was a fact of life.

A couple years after graduating, I married my high school sweetheart.  Most of my life then centered around our life, making new friends and having new families.  Then the babies came and the circle of friends became other friends with children.  Good times we shared then, just living life.  Many of those friends are still friends, but that too has changed, we all are on another journey in our lives.  What brought us together were our children and school and 4-H.  It was the best time!  I kind of miss those times, in the last couple years we started celebrating birthdays together.  It has been great catching up with those good old friends again.

The next phase of our life brought to us a group of horse friends.  The kids and I started seriously riding horses for endurance and competitive competitions.  Camping with people who shared a common interest in horses was wonderful.  This was a time that I felt great adventure and freedom to be in nature and share that with my kids.  I have loved horses all my life and I believe it was one of my favorite times of life.  My friends from that time period are still very special today, we try to get together a few times a year.  I have one friend from this time that was especially important.  She kept her horse at my house, we trained together and traveled together.  Then life happened, jobs changed and they were on the move.   It used to hurt my heart greatly that she was no longer riding horses with me.   A door closed...........   So I opened another door and found my other best horse and personal friend.  (she is reading this too)  She and I are still good friends, we are often in touch and we are keeping up with each other through our blogs!  Love reading her stories!  We share many good memories.   As we travel through this life, my horses and I have retired from fast and furious riding.  So I live that wonderful excitement through my friends that are still riding.

And now another phase and new friends are being brought to my life.  These friends are artists, musicians, and those traveling the same spiritual path.   I am rather amazed at this turn of events in my life.  I have never thought of myself as an artist and yet I have found an artistic side that has surprised me in gourd art, painting and music.   Music... who would have thought?  My greatest ability was to turn on the radio or play an eight track tape.  Now I play the Native American style flute.  I have been surrounded by wonderful friends that are artists and the music fills my life with more friends.  Many of these friends are also connected to my spiritual beliefs, some are friends because of my journey with the Spirit side of things.   I am blessed to spend time with all of these people call them my friends.  These are the people I love sitting with and talking heartfelt things, sharing art and flutes.  It fills me up as much as when I was a young mom talking with other moms, or when my only thoughts centered about the children and horses.  This is the best time of my life.

Can life get better than this?  I am sure I have ask that question in every growing stage in my life.  Does that mean I enjoyed each of those times to the fullest?  I think it does.  Through all these periods of my life, I still had the constant, unwavering love of my wonderful husband and our amazing children and now grand children.

So maybe your asking, what does all of this have to do with the questions posed above, is she just meandering, lost in thoughts that have nothing to do with the beginning?   No, I remember, it has to do with friendships.  I just wanted to share first that I know that friendships change, life changes.  I have had disappointments in my friendships.  Did I require more from a friendship that someone else could provide?  Have I disappointed someone because they may have expected more from me?  Yes, to both questions.  I admit, sadly, I may have not been as good a friend as I should have been at times.  I also have been hurt by the lack of friendships that I thought were the most important thing in the world, only to find it was less valuable to the person I was calling a friend.

My heart has been trampled by so called friends, the ones that used me to their own gain, the ones that took more that they gave.  Oh, I know, I allowed it to happen.  Each time it happens I learn new lessons about friendship, I become wiser each time it happens.  Will I put up a wall and not trust that a person is in my life as a friend?  I hope not, I don't want to let some spoil the possibilty of a new friend in my future.   The one thing I have discovered about myself as I have made this circle, I will trust others to do and act as they say.   Walking their talk, if you will.  There are people in this world that aren't honorable and genuine.  I say a prayer this morning that I am an honorable and genuine friend to others.