Post Open House Syndrome

I debated writing this blog, it is very heart felt and a bit teary.  It seems necessary to write my feelings and then I can move on.  I thought just talking it out with a friend would be helpful, my dear friend understands and is considerate of my pauses to control my feelings so that I can speak clearly again.  She is powerless to do more than listen and agree.  It is something I struggle with whenever my emotions have run high and then all is over. 

I'm eluding to the open house that I just had at the gourd studio.  I spent weeks before the event preparing gourds.  I have to clean the studio, moving storage tubs out, rearranging the space, sweeping, dusting, decorating for a more shop like appearance and less of a workshop.  This major cleaning only happens once a year, so it is a big deal.  I also have to have the house and the grounds acceptable for guests, not that they care, but I do, so it is important.  My dear friend and I talked about all of the preparations, it is like a ceremony, doing all of these things.  Many prayers are said during this time, some are as simple as asking for the strength to get it all done and others more sensitive to the people coming. It is done with so much joy and excitement.  I think about food, coffee and treats.  Thankfully, a friend brought cookies and another friend brought a birthday cake, there were plenty of goodies, what a relief!  I sent out postcards and this year only half as many as usual, something happened to my list in the computer, I lost half of my 600 names and addresses.  Will anyone come? 

The signs are out and the morning of the event comes.  My wonderful friend brings his beautiful flutes and we wait for the first guests to arrive.  Yes, they did come, we were blessed with visitors.  The weekend was packed with amazing people.  The smiles, the hugs, the flute music and the beat of the drum was gifted to all.  The cookies and cake were eaten, the coffee pot refilled often.  The weather couldn't have been nicer, people gathered and visited inside and outside the studio.  They took rides in my wonderful husband's Model A Ford truck.  Horses were fed apples and loved on.  The coffeehouse concert was well attended and other flute friends played their flutes at the open mic.  There was the fire burning in the tipi and friends to share that fire.  There was the hugs of goodbye with promises of getting together soon.  My heart was filled to the brim and running over with gratitude.

Yesterday and today have been difficult.  I went to the studio yesterday to start putting things back into their normal place, so that I might work again.  The studio is quiet, too quiet.  How quickly it was over, I'm not ready for it to be over, I want more, it's like an addiction, I am not ready for it to end. 

I wonder how this happened for me, all of these people who came are so special.   We are all drawn together for the same reasons.  I have discovered it is because of the healing energy and power of the Native American flute.  All else falls away with this family, the insecurities, the doubts, the pain.   You feel the love that each has to share, it is given freely with hugs and smiles, it is also returned.  We are all looking for the same thing, love, respect, acceptance.  We might be a little different in the eyes of the rest of the world, "misfit toys" is a term I've heard used, "they" don't matter when you know you have this family of friends and their love. 

Open house 2010 was awesome, and, oh yes, I even sold some gourds.  Now I'm back on solid ground, I can finish restoring the studio to a working space.  Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder a little.  It is what I needed today.