Reflections

Today is the first day of fall, 2012.  Another season has passed and a new one begins as we move around the circle of seasons.  Even this day is uncertain of what it wants to be.  Clouds come and go, the sun is out from behind those clouds and lights the day with the promise of warmth and a little summer.  And yet, there is a chill in the air at the same time. 

The trees are showing color and I am eager to see more of the patchwork quilt of color when I look towards the wooded forests.  The birds are quieter, days of seeing the hummingbirds from the porch will soon be gone.  The wrens that chattered endlessly this summer are no longer heard.  Large groups of birds are gathering and migration has begin. 

I am often a little melancholy with changes, it can happen with seasons, birthdays, or even a change in what I once perceived about truth, faith, love or friendships.  It happens when I hurt from the loss of a person or animal that shared time in my life. 

My solution is to get back to nature.  Go outside, inhale the fresh crisp air, feel the last rays of sun on my shoulders.  Play my flute with prayers that the next season will be gentle and healing.  And as much as I long for solitude, I must find people to spend time with.  Sharing the energy with others is powerful and good for the soul too.

Being creative during my most melancholy times is often an outlet.  Last year I wrote poems, I have never written poetry before.  From the end of spring into the summer, everything was a poem.  Then I became more content and settled with life and it all stopped.  I have only written on poem this year.  It came during another change in my life.  It woke me up in the middle of sleep and the words came out and had to be recorded. 

      Oh what must he think I am thinking......
          As we travel down this dark country road,
              My eyes are closed, my face to the wind and
                     My arms are outstretched in the darkness.
     Oh what must he think I am thinking......
            I am think I have learned to fly again.

This came one night we were coming home on our Harley Davidson Trike.  This was a change in our lives that no one saw coming.  Not even my wonderful husband or I.  It happened when I rode a Harley with my brother in Texas.  I found that it was like riding horses, something I spent most of my life enjoying.   The horses are gone now, that change that was very difficult for me.  They too were a part of my poetry last year. 

Coming home and talking to my wonderful husband we decided to go on a test drive.  The rest is history.........  We have spent time together, stealing away on a summer afternoon, headed to some wooded forest to feel the cool breeze in our faces.  We have found another tribe of friends that also ride bikes.  It has become a passion.  I find myself a little unsettled if we haven't been out for a few days.  I used to get that same feeling if I hadn't ridden horses for awhile.

Funny, my highs and lows are so extreme, no easy way for me to get through this world, no middle road.  I have felt these extremes all my life, why would it change now?  So here I am, the day of the equinox, reflecting on changes, yet again.