The Notebooks

I love to write things down, writing gives me a way to organize my thoughts, helps me to remember an experience, a feeling and often it is my way to truly express my heartfelt thoughts. 

So I started purchasing steno pads, they are easy to carry around, I can take out a page if I've changed my mind, I can make a grocery list, write a poem, "practice" a letter I want to send to someone special, record a dream or even to monitor my Bluebird boxes.

I try keeping one at the computer, jotting down something important, a recipe, or vital information about our families history from Ancestry.com, a quote, an address I don't want to forget or even a phone number.  The problem comes when I take it to the other room to transfer the information into my address book or the kitchen to try the recipe.  

The one I use for Bluebird monitoring goes with me in the field, where I record what is happening in each of the twenty something boxes once a week.   I often find myself also taking notes about weather, butterflies, flowers blooming or crops in the field, or I might be inspired to write a poem.

I have a notebook for dreams, I am amazed at the dreams I have had and nearly forgotten, until I read it in this little steno pad.  I take it to share with my wonderful hubby and it gets mixed up with another notebook that belongs by the computer.  Now I have dreams written in the notebook with quotes and recipes from beside the computer.

I also do travel journals, in these notebooks.  I can go back to the first trip I took to Texas and read the heart wrenching account of my experience there, the family I met for the first time in my entire life.  Then I will have some poetry related to that visit.  A couple years later will be another account of a trip we took to Texas and rode motorcycles.  Then suddenly in this notebook there is my sales made at an art show...........  seriously?    

Now I am going through these notebook, looking for my information on art sales because I must report my Ohio Sales Tax!   It's like looking for a needle in a haystack and I only did three shows this year!  Not only that, I find myself lost in my writings, crying, laughing and remembering special times, special people and wishing I was more organized.

My real question today is, "Do I just start fresh with brand new notebooks?"  or  "do I continue in my old notebooks, filling in the blank pages with my random, meandering thoughts and ideas?"  I always want to be organized and it seems to always elude me.

Making The Most of My Time

I am trying hard to do some important work now that I am home and focused.   My wonderful husband is out of town and I can do anything I want, no schedules, no major cooking and complete quiet.  Well, this sounds good, I'm having trouble with the complete quiet.........  if you haven't guessed, I'm a people person.  I miss my husband, I often think, oh, I should be starting supper, or OMG, today is trash day, or I get up in the morning and have to make my own coffee....    And who am I going to tell about washing the horses to cool them off and who cares if I scheduled someone to come clean the carpet and who wants to hear me complain about how hot it is? 

Each of my children call me, to see if I need help with something.  It is a very thoughtful thing for them to do, watching out for me while Richard is away.  Emily came to help me wash the horses, it became a party, Ryan and grand daughters, Cait and Lizzy also came to help.  There were a few, "oops, sorry, I didn't really mean to spray you!"  giggle, giggle moments.  The horses thought they had died and gone to heaven.  Standing around all day they stomp the flys off, they sweat and they itch.   A cool bath was such a pleasure to them.  We also washed Jessie, our Lab.  She needed a bath more for the cleaning, the cooling part was the bonus for her. 

I really should be in the studio today, I have this wonderful idea!   I've mentioned that I am making Art Journals.   Books with pages of original art, created by paint, stamps, markers, photos and whatever.  And

also some words of wisdom or journaling an event.  What fun they are, I love them and they are such a new creative process for me, art with a loose structure, allowing something to happen and flowing with it.  Details are not necessary and no two pages are alike.  So it offers amazing freedom.

Being the business minded person that I am, I have decided to make little 5x7 or 8x10 pieces of art, just little original art pieces, based on the Art Journals.    I have the hardest time allowing myself to just play, it seems I am compelled to call my playtime work!  If it is truly "work" then there must be a way to market it.    I was brought up to be busy at something constructive, many people would look at my art journal as play, it is all about me and for me.  So maybe not work, more like wasting time, at least to them.  It is much the same when my wonderful husband walks in the door and I'm at the computer, I call it time to work, he see's it as wasting time.  All in the eyes of the beholder......  

At this time in my life, I cannot waste time, there is so much I want to do, so many things yet to experience.
So it is, I am going to continue with the Art Journals, for myself.  I will just expand my creative process into a little original artwork that can be framed and sold.  Woohoo, heading to the studio for some serious creating while I have no schedules, no cooking and complete quiet!!!!!!

Hallelujah!

Coffee isn't helping, I can't seem to get started on anything.  I think I'm still recovering from the International Native American Flute Association convention. I think this must be what a "hangover" must be like, without any pain.  Just the feeling of being disconnected, fuzzy, out of focus in this other world.  I seem to only want to play flutes, I want to talk to my flute friends and see how they are recovering.  It seems I'm not alone in my need to stay connected to the convention.  I have read accounts on Facebook of the inability to get focused.  It helped yesterday to mow the yard, grounded me a little, I thought I might be making the transformation back, until this morning.

I slept in today, the dogs didn't seem to mind that I'm being so lazy, they are so happy I'm back home again.  While thinking about getting up, I realize that I still have a particular song running over and over in my mind.  It's as if the song is imprinted somewhere in my brain.  The song is Hallelujah from the new Randy Granger CD,  Pura Vida.  This song just keeps "looping" through my mind, I don't know why..... I do love the song, the entire CD is wonderful, it's just this song I keep hearing.  Again, I am back at the convention, listening to Randy perform, his voice is so beautiful.  I guess I should be happy he is singing to me still, I will stop worrying about why this is happening and consider it a blessing!

Last night my grand daughters came to visit.  I showed them my new MOYO drum, ohhh, did we have fun playing around with that sweet little drum!  I knew they would love it!  Then I took out my flute to accompany the little drum in the key of D, what sweet music we made.   Then their mother took them home and I have no one to play with again............. 

I need to snap out of this!  My phone rings, it is one of my flute family tribe calling.   She reminds me that the Sunwatch Flute Gathering in Dayton, Ohio is only a month away!  Woohoo!  We'll all be together again!  I can't wait to see my dear friends again!  Going for more coffee!  Leaving the flutes for awhile and going to the studio!  Maybe I should do an ART JOURNAL page about the INAFA convention.   I can put on some new Cd's and let my mind wander, burn some sage and be grateful for another day to celebrate living this very moment!

I Did It, I Did My First Art Journal Page

Okay, I managed to get the laundry done, I finished two unfinished gourds and also packed up the gourds in my big green bags.  I also managed to make my first Art Journal Page!  Of course my wonderful husband had to fix his own supper!   But I got my first Art Journal Page done!   WooHoo! 

I have to say that it is the coolest thing to just keep adding layers to the pages, if you aren't satisfied, paint or cover with another paper.  Journal something and I also dated and sign it too.  (A tip from one of my Facebook friends!)  I love that you can use any medium, stamps, paint, markers, fabric, chalk, wonderful papers, magazines, and even spray paint!  I have it all, I didn't have to buy anything to work on this project. 

The most difficult part was allowing myself to be free and loose with my work.  My favorite tool today was the hair dryer, it kept me moving......... I really should have been fixing supper, I just couldn't be gone for the next four days and not try Art Journaling!  I had too much fun and am already thinking about the next possibility, although it's probably better if you don't plan your page, just let it come.  

Okay, I feel creatively satisfied today, sort of like after the big Thanksgiving dinner, you've tasted all your favorite foods and you couldn't want for anything more.  I think I have a new obsessive art project!

Oh No, Not Again!

I am sharing with you the root, the beginning, the instant a new creative moment starts to take hold of me!  Oh, it will not be easy to explain how this happens, but I am going to try.  Some of you already know exactly the feeling, the moment, the very instant that seed begins to sprout!  It stirs something inside you that cannot be denied!

This morning I am casually reading other blogs I follow.   This one is called 30 journals 30 days.  I have never been really interested in making art journels, mainly because I keep a daily journal and now a blog, why do I need to do an art journal?  Maybe I don't, you know what is really pulling me in, it is doing a small art projects that combines so many mediums into a little book!  I have read several blogs by different artists doing art journels and there are even You Tubes of them actually doing the work.  I am one of those people that LOVES to be shown how to do something.   A hands on kind of girl!  It has totally effected my ability to think clearly!

Well, while watching one of the You Tubes this morning I felt the stirring of excitement in my stomach, pretty shortly my mind started racing, my hands started vibrating.  I wanted to stop everything and go out to the studio!  I think of all my little scraps of paper, I think of all my little single thoughts about this or that, I think of paint colors, my clean brushes, and I wonder if I have a book that could become an art journal.  I can hardly sit and write this because of the excitement I am feeling. 

I cannot let myself be pulled into another obsession today!   I MUST finish laundry, I MUST pack the van and I MUST focus on the wonderful art show I'm going to this weekend!  Lilyfest has to be my top priority!

Maybe if I hurry, I can get one page done before I leave for Lilyfest tomorrow afternoon...........   Oh dear, I am loosing control, I just can't wait to try an art journel!  I'll keep you posted on how my day evolves!

See for yourself!  http://30journals30days.blogspot.com/

1988 Journal

Yesterday I pulled my journals off the shelf to just have a look through a couple, to see what kinds of things I wrote down.  The first one I looked at was the 1972-73, the first of my venture into journals.  It is a little surprising to read the one line notations.

On October 15th, 1972 our son Ryan was born.  He was born on my Grandpa Brenner's Birthday, I'd forgotten that.....   Throughout this journal I recorded things like the first smile, dinner at my Mom's house, who came to visit, and all of Ryan's firsts that year.  I cannot believe he was getting cereal at a month old or that he had orange juice two weeks later!!!   My daughter would be shocked at that today!  She didn't start her babies on solids until at least five months. 

The second journal I picked up had an interesting list of things on the back page that happened in 1988.  It was titled:  "Things I'd Like to Remember and Some I'd Wish To Forget."   I will share these memories with you, as I did with Ryan and Richard this morning. 

The passing of Kathrine Gregg, (my mother-in-law) a mother, a grandmother, a friend.  (sudden and sad)

My brother, Brian, had two strokes before Christmas.  (effected his speech, right arm and leg)

My favorite cowboy, Dave, was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease.  (he recovered)

Our competitive ride season brought awards and two 300 mile blankets.

Trisha won an Arabian Colt from Dr. Fricke.  (that colt is Knipper, the pretty bay horse in many of my pictures)

We bought a '79 motor home.  (our "new" camping vehicle!)

'88 drought made very poor crops  (my husband farms a little on the side.)

A friend went through a divorce, moved to a new house, had a great barn and hay for his horses.
We inherited an old station wagon from my Grandmother, Gladys Rankin.  (the kids would hide when we drove it, they were totally embarrassed.)
Ryan turned sixteen and played Football.
Trisha is in 7th grade, playing volleyball and basketball
Emily, my baby, turned ten years old.  Loves soccer.
Richard went to Kansas City with the FFA.  (Richard was an Ag. Teacher for 36 years)
The 4-H club took a trip to Washington DC and stayed in the home of Mike and Fran DeWine. (he was our congressman then)
The kids had great fair hogs this year.

I thought this was very interesting, you may not.  It does show how cool it was that I kept some record of events in our busy life.  I made me smile to remember those things.  I wonder what else my old journals will reveal to me?

Photo:   2004 Journal cover.  While loading the photo for this blog, I flipped through the pages.  Tears stream from my eyes when I read about having to deal with an aging horse with a rectal tumor.  My heart hurts and miss this beautiful horse we called Feasty.  I have written about him in other blogs, he was certainly one of our most entertaining horse when it came to stories!