Reflections

Today is the first day of fall, 2012.  Another season has passed and a new one begins as we move around the circle of seasons.  Even this day is uncertain of what it wants to be.  Clouds come and go, the sun is out from behind those clouds and lights the day with the promise of warmth and a little summer.  And yet, there is a chill in the air at the same time. 

The trees are showing color and I am eager to see more of the patchwork quilt of color when I look towards the wooded forests.  The birds are quieter, days of seeing the hummingbirds from the porch will soon be gone.  The wrens that chattered endlessly this summer are no longer heard.  Large groups of birds are gathering and migration has begin. 

I am often a little melancholy with changes, it can happen with seasons, birthdays, or even a change in what I once perceived about truth, faith, love or friendships.  It happens when I hurt from the loss of a person or animal that shared time in my life. 

My solution is to get back to nature.  Go outside, inhale the fresh crisp air, feel the last rays of sun on my shoulders.  Play my flute with prayers that the next season will be gentle and healing.  And as much as I long for solitude, I must find people to spend time with.  Sharing the energy with others is powerful and good for the soul too.

Being creative during my most melancholy times is often an outlet.  Last year I wrote poems, I have never written poetry before.  From the end of spring into the summer, everything was a poem.  Then I became more content and settled with life and it all stopped.  I have only written on poem this year.  It came during another change in my life.  It woke me up in the middle of sleep and the words came out and had to be recorded. 

      Oh what must he think I am thinking......
          As we travel down this dark country road,
              My eyes are closed, my face to the wind and
                     My arms are outstretched in the darkness.
     Oh what must he think I am thinking......
            I am think I have learned to fly again.

This came one night we were coming home on our Harley Davidson Trike.  This was a change in our lives that no one saw coming.  Not even my wonderful husband or I.  It happened when I rode a Harley with my brother in Texas.  I found that it was like riding horses, something I spent most of my life enjoying.   The horses are gone now, that change that was very difficult for me.  They too were a part of my poetry last year. 

Coming home and talking to my wonderful husband we decided to go on a test drive.  The rest is history.........  We have spent time together, stealing away on a summer afternoon, headed to some wooded forest to feel the cool breeze in our faces.  We have found another tribe of friends that also ride bikes.  It has become a passion.  I find myself a little unsettled if we haven't been out for a few days.  I used to get that same feeling if I hadn't ridden horses for awhile.

Funny, my highs and lows are so extreme, no easy way for me to get through this world, no middle road.  I have felt these extremes all my life, why would it change now?  So here I am, the day of the equinox, reflecting on changes, yet again.

Awake at Dawn

The sun is just breaking the horizon.  I try to remember where I am, my eyes don't want to open.  I can smell the earthy scents of damp ground.  I hear the quiet of a morning when the night insects become silent and the birds tentatively sing a note or two.

I am still struggling to open my eyes, as I snuggle deeper into my sleeping bag, hoping to drift back off into sweet dream land.  The fire still has hot coals from the last logs added hours ago. 

As I squint to look under my tipi lodge of canvas, I wonder if I am still dreaming or perhaps visiting a past life.  I suddenly feel like I am out on the western prairie, two hundred years ago.  The earthy smells fill my nose, the campfire ready for morning cooking and the quiet village not yet awake.   My heart soars as I see the black lumps in the distance.  "What is that?" my mind is asking?  It looks like buffalo grazing with the sunlight barely lighting the grasses on the plain.

local herd of buffalo, 2009

I struggle now, finding my bearings between something from the past and something that is happening in September 2012.  Unfortunately my logical brain has made the adjustment, I have found my glasses and I can see what looked like buffalo are my neighbors black Angus cattle grazing in a fenced field across the road. 

I am reluctant to return, so few glimpses of the past are shown.  I will not forget that moment, the sounds, the lodge, the fire, sleeping on the ground.  Were the long gone ancestors that roam our land giving me a picture of what was two hundred years ago?  I thank them this morning as I awake at dawn.

The Flea Bitten Kitten

Our youngest grandchild, Tatum Mary Adeline, is three years old.  A milestone in her young life.  She will be giving up her pacifier on this day.  It has been her constant companion for three years, giving her comfort in the night when the lights go out.  When injury's occurred and crying couldn't be stopped with hugs and kisses, everyone was running to find the "pacie".

It has healed hurt feelings when her brothers tease her and when her big sister picks on her.  All these are normal sibling things and certainly the pacifier wasn't always there when needed, if it was close it was used.  Giving it up will be a challenge for little Tatum and the rest at the family too!

Tatum and Sally, 2012

For her birthday it was decided to get Tatum a kitten.  The extended family gathered for the Birthday Party and while everyone was distracted, Tatum's mother and aunt left the party to pick up the kitten from a neighbor with barn kittens.  Coming home with the little black and white kitten they realized they were also bringing home a whole lot of fleas!  This poor flea bitten kitten was going to have to have a flea bath before being presented to it's three year old lover and hugger. 

Little Tatum realized her mom, her aunt and grandma were locked in the bathroom and she was locked out.  Tears and loud crying finally opened the door to show Miss Tatum her birthday surprise.  The still flea bitten kitten was being held for 5 minutes to allow the shampoo to work.  It's little head was spiked with wet hair, her little feet were reaching out with claws bared to grab anything close enough to save it from this horrible wet experience.  We were all saying Happy Birthday Tatum and the kitten let out a pitiful yeow.  Tatum took one look and started backing away in fear of that strange wet flea bitten creature.  Tatum was terrified of her special birthday present!

Not the response her mom had hoped and had anyone had dry hands, a camera should have been used to capture the expression of "I don't want anything to do with THAT!" 

We soon finished with bathing the flea bitten kitten.   It soon dried it off and it began to look like a more like a soft and furry little kitten that could be held and loved on.   This photo is of Tatum and new kitten, Sally. 

P. S.  Tatum is doing fine without the pacifier, not so sure about the family.....

 

Summers End

Summers end has come, a bittersweet time........... 

It has been a hard summer, drought has cracked the earth, crops and gardens dry from lack of rain.  Flowers blooms were brief, if at all.  We longed for rain, prayed for rain and listened to weather forecasters predict rain and still it didn't come.

It took Hurricane Issac to change our weather pattern and at last some rain has come to our little place on the map in southwest Ohio.  As I write this the sky is heavy and grey, I hope for more rain because we are so parched.  Although it is fall the trees are still thirsty, the ground stores are in need of filling.  Ponds and streams have shriveled in size.  Wild critters adapt by coming closer to our watered plants or bird baths.

 


Chives in bloom and honey bees are
so happy!

I have hope that the cycle has been broken, rain patterns, cooler temperatures will be more normal.  I hope all people who watch the hummingbird migration will keep their feeders out for an extended period, the flowers they depend on for their energy source may not be blooming this year, you may very well be providing their energy source to make the long trip south. 

I say thanks today for the grey, gloomy and rainy day.  Grateful for summers end and another season coming.  The circle continues and even with the hardships we have been blessed.