Fourth of July

Grandpa, Ralph DeRemer

Today is July 4th, 2012.  As a kid it was just another day, my parents never made it much of a big deal.  I do remember my Grandmother Rankin coming down and she always brought some sparklers and some firecrackers and a few cherry bombs.  Otherwise it wasn't much of a flag raising day.

I didn't know then that my paternal grandfather was a soldier in World War I.  I didn't know my birth father made a career with the Air Force.  I still know little about his life and his service to our country.  I found that two of my brothers served.  I am so proud to know this, I honor them and thank them for their sacrifices.


My youngest brother, Mitch just retired, he did three tours in Afghanistan.  He flew the Blackhawk helicopter and was awarded with the Distinguished Flying Cross.   I think that kind of service changes a man.  I pray now for him to be able to go on and live a life that gives him peace and happiness. 

Red, White and Blue

Since discovering my fathers family, I have discovered two other young men, second cousins who are in the service, I ponder how brave they must be and honor their dedication to keep us free and protect our country.

Today I have my flags raised in the front yard.  I, at last, feel connected to those who have helped protect our rights and freedoms.  

One of the coolest things that happened this summer was when I took my brother Mike and his wife Jeanne to their first pow wow.  I have always been moved by the thanks and honor that go to the Veterans at pow wows and this year was no different.  They carry flags for each branch of the military and honored ALL who have served, the Veterans walk the sacred circle as we stood and saluted them, there were men and women, old and young.  This year they honored anyone who served in the military and had taken their final sacred journey in the past year.  Mike gave them our fathers name and it was read aloud with all the other names.  I felt proud to hear our fathers name, Stephen Guy DeRemer, read among the others.  Tears fall now as I write this blog, for our Dad and all others who have given so much.

Independence day for these
fledged barn swallows too.

It is a sad thing to be 63 years old and finally learn and feel the importance of this day.  I guess it is never too late to learn lessons in this life, I am glad to know my family is a part of the reason for this celebration.  My Blessings to you all.

Road Farming

Summer evening in June.......

Long time ago, before children and other oblgations in life, such as being adults and endless things that needed to be done,  Richard and I used to go for rides around the countryside.  We would just enjoy time together in our little pickup truck.  My wonderful husband would take me on roads I'd never traveled, we were on his home ground, where he grew up.  He would point out homes of classmates and families we might know in common.  We had no air conditioning in our little yellow '67 Chevy truck, the windows were rolled down and the wind cooled us on hot summer evenings.

We named this aimless way of traveling, road farming.  Since my wonderful husband and I were from farm backgrounds it was fun to see fields being plowed and disc.  Rowing (watching it sprout in fields) corn and beans in late May was a sign crops were well on their way and planted on time.  Corn that was knee high by the fourth of July were sure to make ears and have time to dry on the stalk by late September.

This year, 2012, Richard and I are road farming again, this time from the top of a Harley Trike.  We are traveling roads that are unfamiliar to me, he names owners of houses we both know, identifies classmates homes from the class of 1965 and he now tells me where his past students live.  Names are familiar and stories are remembered. 

Tasseling corn June 30, 2012

We have watched the corn and beans grow this spring.   We have smelled the sweet aroma of hay that had be cut and was being baled.  We saw the wheat ripen and be combined and then baled for straw.  The sweet smell of wheat being harvested took me back to our dairy barn with straw bedding and the Greene County Fair when clean newly baled straw was used to bed the animals.  Today animals are bedded down with cedar shavings, a different smell and one our grandchildren will recall someday when they visit their own memories of the Greene County Fair.

On the last day of June 2012 we went for a cool ride on our Iron Horse, Blue.  We rode back country roads and saw corn that was starting to tassle, the smell of those tassles and the silks of newly form ears of corn was intoxicating.  What happened to "knee high by the fourth of July?", I ask Richard.  He said that all the crops were planted unusually early this year, no till planting began in April.  (Farmers no longer plow the earth and disc it smooth, it hopefully will save the fields from wind erosion.)

Wild flowers on the hillside...

Everything seems to be month early this year.  Already the two cuttings of hay have been taken from most fields and the July wheat was harvested in June.  Pastures are eaten down, cattle and horses are resting in the shade of lone trees in their pastures, it looks like late July.  The earth is thirsty for rain and summer storms come with high humidity and hot temperatures.  Summer seems to have come early in every respect. 

I have enjoyed Road Farming again, a time when things stop, you are living "in the moment" "taking time to smell the roses" and remember the way things were.  As much as things change, they remain the same.  We still enjoy the cool air on a hot summer evening.  Life is good............

It's Not The Destination, It's The Ride

"It's not the denstination, it's the ride."  A common statement in regard to riding a Harley.  I will also say the same about being married to my wonderful husband of forty three years.  We are always a little shocked at the amount of time that has rushed past and brought us to this point.   Certainly we don't feel much different than we did in our twenties.

We dated in high school, I was sixteen and head over heels, a "teenager in love".  Hummm, wasn't that a song title?  We went to football games, drove around the local Friches and ordered sandwiches from the outdoor speaker, food came and a tray was placed on the window by an outdoor waitress.  We went to school dances and 4H camp together.  I always had a curfew and we never parked, I was too afraid of those Urban legends that we talked about at slumber parties being true!   Laugh if you want...........  :D

We married and did all the usual things, had our family, worked hard and played when we had the money.  I never felt rich, I never felt poor.......... we just were living the life and enjoying each phase as it came to us.  It's been a great journey.

Now, here we are.  Still living life as it comes to us, enjoying our children and our grandchildren, they are the best thing about our life!   We are finding joy in my additional family that is just new to us.   We both have found working and playing is harder than it used to be!  We still do it, it just takes longer than it used to.

Yesterday, our anniversary of forty-three years, June 14th, also Flag Day, we celebrated by taking our month old Harley Davidson Trike for a ride.  The day was cool and sunny and we rode around 150 miles, with a stop for lunch and a couple other stops along the way.  I love riding, the smell of ripening wheat, the scent of the cows as we pass a dairy farm, the aroma of pine trees, the shade of riding a wooded back road, the brightness of open flat farmland, and the air in my face.  It is a little peace of heaven when we are out on our bike.

Then it happened, we were about thirty minutes from home when it hit us both, we were not used to this and our butt bones were suffering!!!!  Holy cow, maybe we really need to spend more time conditioning before we ride this long.  When we got home we both found a comfortable spot to take a little nap and recover!  What a wonderful day!  Happy Anniversary Honey!

The Stars and Moon Aligned

Super Moon, May 5, 2012.......

Well, it seems that stars are aligned and the "super moon" is causing people to do things that they might not consider under normal conditions.  It has different effects on each of us, it becomes important when know the profound effect on us personally and go with the flow.

As the moon started rounding out and getting brighter with each night that passed this last week, I knew it was a of sign powers beyond, helping to pull us along a path.  Our little demo ride on the Harley Trike made the light shine brighter and knew we had to just go for one more test ride!

It was a last minute decision, to try the Trike out again on Wednesday night.  Ryan met us there on his bike and we went for a nice long ride in the country.  The feelings I had were ones of freedom, living the moment, drinking in the world around me and being outside in nature.   I didn't know how much I missed that feeling, it is much like riding a horse down a wooded trail.  An adventure with different perspective from riding inside a car.  No one ever told me what it felt like, no one ever expressed why they liked to ride their bikes.  Now I understand and am totally addicted!

Before our ride we walked into the Harley dealership and saw the same fellow we'd talked to the day of the demo ride.  Of course Richard knew him, he'd been in shop class when Richard was an Ag teacher.  As we chatted he said, "Did you see the "used" trike we just got in today?"  We hadn't and he took us in the showroom where it was on display.  He said the guy bought it a week ago and decided he didn't like it.  The Trike only had 44 miles on it!  We found out that Harley Trikes are in high demand and to find a used one is very rare!  And to find one that is my favorite color, blue...........  well, I knew the stars were in alignment! 

goin' for a ride...

Decisions like this are usually lingered over for awhile, the pro and cons considered.  We had talked for awhile before we ever test rode one.  We were both excited about the possibility of spending time together, sharing a common interest.  After 43 years of marriage we found hobbies and interests that keep us busy and happy, also took us in different directions.  It wasn't that we didn't come together again, we did have our family times with the children and grandchildren, we just didn't have as much together time.  Plus, it is very relaxing, Richard doesn't take time to relax very often, he always finds work that needs done.  A trike would change all of that. 

So we made the plunge and joined the world of Harley Davidson owners.  We have a "used" blue HD Trike in our barn.  Our first night out we were initiated by rain, we'll be getting some rainwear soon!   I just can't wait for Richard to come home and we can go for a ride again.  Just too much fun!!!  I love when the stars and moon are aligned and we are showered with it's blessings!

Baby Boomers

demo ride on a Harley Davidson Tri-Glide

I guess my husband and I fall into the baby boomer, generation.  Scary to even admit that out loud or in written form.  It wasn't so bad, knowing this twenty years ago.  Now, it reminds me of being in the older generation.  I am fighting as hard as I can not to become old!!!  It will be a fight all the way to the end, I promise!

My wonderful husband feels the same way.  He is still very active and even since he retired from teaching Vocational Agriculture after 36 years, he still works.  He is a caretaker for a farm in our rural community, mowing the yard, keeping the house ready for the owners to come and visit at their whim.  He has so many hobbies, I have lost count of them. 

I enjoy my art studio, gourds and paintings can keep me happy for hours and hours.  I have my Native American flutes to play, they keep me balanced and provide my heart song.  I love when the tipi goes up and friends come to enjoy it with me.  I also love to drum, something very powerful and at the same time very meditative about drumming. 

So you see we are very happy and active, and even "young".   I think being young means trying new things, keeping the possibilities open and learning something new.  So it shouldn't be a surprise, if something else catches our eye or interest, who knows, we might give it some consideration.  When visiting my brother in Texas this past March, I was treated with a ride on his Harley.  Oh my gosh, it was the most fun!  Took me back to my horse riding days!  Freedom, fresh air and power!

My wonderful husband had a bike a long time ago.  A small bike, he rode it often during the summer, that all ended when a truck turned in front of him.  We were lucky he was wearing a helmet, his head hit the mirror of the truck.  He had many facial injuries and was in the hospital for awhile.  We haven't thought about bikes, although our son had some and we thought it was a phase he'd outgrow.  Then a couple years ago he got a Harley and then I find my brother has been riding for forty years. 

Today, at our son's nudging encouragement, we went to our local Harley Davidson dealership for demo days and took a ride on the baby boomer model! A beautiful red Tri-Glide!  Oh My Gosh!  Too much fun!  We walked away, talking about taking another ride on a nice warm sunny day in the future.  Honestly, youth is still in our eyes and our hearts, go BABY BOOMERS go!!!!!!

Sometimes It's Hard To Say.........

Okay, this is one of those things that is on my mind today and I feel the need to explore it.  For me writing about something is a way of my own self-discovery.  Sometimes that isn't easy, this journey of self-discovery.

I spoke with a friend this morning.  I have many friends that I share a common bond, many are women friends and there are some that are men friends.  The friendship with men is not to be taken in any way, shape or form more than a friendship or I think of them like I would a "brother".   

This friend means the world to me, I enjoy our conversations, many times our talks are fun and just catching up.  Sometimes they explore our deep feelings about the world around us and why things are the way they are.  Usually nothing is resolved, but it was talked about and shared.  We share our frustrations with things that can't be easily changed, sometimes it is about the path we choose to walk and how difficult our choice or how wonderful our choice.   He can say things in a way that cause me to explore my inner self a little and I would like to think that I in some way have helped him too.

As we were closing our conversation, that was rather deep and meaningful, I wanted to tell him how much it means to me that he listens and gives me his "take" on something.  Sometimes it's hard to say, "I love you",  I certainly don't want to be inappropriate.  So I pondered this while working in the studio today.

Why is it so difficult to tell someone you love them?  I can say it to my children and grandchildren and of course my wonderful husband.  But to say it, when your whole heart feels it and you hesitate because you are afraid of being inappropriate, it is often left unsaid. 

I have spent the last year discovering my fathers family, one that was kept from me my entire life.  My heart swells with so much emotion when I think of them, I can hardly see what I type for the tears.  These tears come for so many reasons.  The joy in finding them and being accepted by them.  The sadness for missing time with my Father, finding him and then loosing him forever.  Hurt that the time has been lost and fear that I'll never get enough, now that I have found this family.  This family that I love!  Can anyone even understand this unless they have been there and felt the same feelings? I truly love them and find it impossible not to tell them how I feel.  Afraid to leave it unsaid because so much was unsaid in my life.

My new brother and I spoke of this, last July, sitting in our fathers hospital room.  I shared that I can't recall the last time my Mother told me she loved me.  I'm sure she did, once, long ago.   And yet I haven't felt or heard it from her in a long time.  Then I find my father and will never hear it from him.  I do know when his mind cleared the last day I was at his bedside and I told him that I loved him, he knew I meant it and our eyes spoke the truth to one another with love that words would never express.  Why did I wait so long to find him, would we have been able to speak of "love" if he'd been healthy and well?  Probably not, sometimes it's hard to say, "I love you".

One thing I have learned in this last year.....  I can say "I love you".  I don't say it easily, when I say it I mean it with all my being.   My whole self realizes how important it is to share your heart.  My whole self knows this could be my last day on this earth.  Did I tell everyone who matters to me, men or women, brothers or sisters, children or even my husband that I love them?  Sometimes it's hard to say............   everyday it gets easier, "I love you!"

Remembering Easter

When I was a kid I remember Easter morning.  It would start off as a normal day, get out of bed, go out and do the chores.  Which I remember would be gathering eggs, feeding rabbits and maybe bottle feeding the new orphan lamb.  As we dressed to go outside, pulling on our boots or grabbing a jacket, we would sometimes find a treat the Easter Bunny left hiding there.  A big ole peanut butter egg with rock hard colorful icing was always the biggest treat, seems like our name might have even been on the egg.  That was to avoid one person collecting all three peanut butter eggs as my brother might have done!!!  Ha!

Cindy in her Easter dress.....

I also remember my Grandmother coming down and my Uncle Billy for Easter dinner.  Ham and deviled eggs, mashed potatoes and gravy and an array of veggies and a jello salad.  It always ended with homemade pies, my grandmother and mom were the best pie bakers!!!!

I also remember having Easter Egg Hunts outside in our forest of trees.  We dressed up for the day in our pretty frilly dresses.  I can't imagine we wore those dresses very long or even putting them on after that Easter.  We didn't go to fancy places or even to church.  A strange custom as I look back on it now.

Whitey our Easter Bunny......

My grandmother always brought us big Easter baskets covered with colored plastic and pretty bows.  My favorite Easter memory was the rabbits she gave us.  Oh, did I love those rabbits.  After that Easter it wasn't long before we had baby bunnies running everywhere.  It was a good present for me who loved the critters. 

This spring I took my girls back to the home I was raised.  They never remembered being there.  I tried painting a picture for them about where our tree house was, pointed to a place in the trees that the chicken houses sat.  And told them where the rabbit cages were.  Their biggest shock was the fact that we had an outhouse!!!  

I think of my grandmother today, all the changes she must have seen in her life time.  She lived and raised a family during the depression, it was a hard time.  To have a convenience of indoor plumbing must have been major.  My children can't imagine running to the outhouse on a cold winter day!  They are shocked by this and look at me like I'm really old.  I haven't felt old, until that moment, when they looked at me with such disbelief.



Thelma Gladys Coak, Rankin
my grandmother

It was my grandmother (I assume) who instilled the survival lessons my mother needed to raise her family.  We had really big gardens.  We canned and sold our produce from those gardens.  We raised chickens and sold eggs.  We raised turkeys and rabbits and dressed them out for sale to people who placed orders.  It was a lot of work, I remember helping, even as a little kid, we picked green beans and pulled weeds.  I remember setting onions in the garden, a nice straight row and covering them up. 

I remember the pantry we kept along the cool outside wall of our kitchen.  All of our canned tomatoes, green beans, peaches and apple sauce were kept there.  I didn't even mention blackberry and raspberry picking and making jellies and jams.  When winter came we were prepared with the summer harvest.

So I am meandering again.........  going from Easter to summer gardens and surviving when times were hard and money was earned in many different ways.  It brings me back to my Easter bunnies, they weren't just a gift for me to play with, they also had their job in the big scheme of life during the time I grew up.