Sunday, April 4, 2010
Interestingly enough, I can talk to a group. The things I talk about are things I am comfortable with, I could talk gourds all day if you were interested. Oh, did I mention I love everything about the Native American Flute and could share and encourage anyone to try it. And horses, oh I so love talking about horses and the thrills of racing down some wooded trail! Someone who hears me talking about these things would never guess about the terrors I harbor.
I think some of my insecurities come from my need to just be casual. I am not a formal kind of girl. I don't often dress up, I don't need pretty clothes to create artwork or live on a farm. I hate to shop and never seem to have anything to wear. I am happy in black pants, probably a black shirt and comfortable shoes. I am trying to stay invisible. Now spring is coming and I fear I cannot wear black all summer. I must think about short sleeve shirts and sandals. I'm in a panic, I have to shed my old winter clothes for something lighter. I'm feeling exposed and insecure again. I think of myself as a snake shedding my old skin. I wonder if snakes fear this transformation too.....
Photo: Me riding a pony at the fair, all dressed up! 5yrs. old. LOL