Meandering Thoughts

Meandering Thoughts

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Out of Focus

Maybe it's the coming full moon, maybe it's the sudden summer heat, or maybe I'm still recovering from the Flute Discovery Retreat.  Maybe it is my concern for the friends in my life, maybe I have writers block or maybe I really need to spend time in meditation and with my flutes.  I can't seem to get anything done.

I took a tour of my out of control gardens the other day, things are blooming early this year, they too seem to be a little out of sync.  The weeds are already tall and roots are deep, I can't seem to pull them loose from the earth.  Maybe I need to have a little talk with them first.  I hear you laughing, sometimes it helps, I swear it does.

I got my hammock out the other day.  I'd been waiting for it to be warm enough.  Well, it got warm enough and I was certainly ready for my first long nap in the hammock.  I remember trying to wake up and struggling to see clearly and would quickly be pulled back into a deep sleep.  In my dream I couldn't see clearly, I'd taken off my glasses before I closed my eyes and it somehow made my dream fuzzy too.  I seemed to only see things in my dream without my glasses, everything was fuzzy and out of focus.  That is how I feel out of focus today.

About the only thing I did accomplish this week is mowing.  It only takes an hour to mow around the house, trees and gardens.  It took longer today because I mowed the tipi area.  I was shocked how tall the pasture is already.  At the tipi area you can see where the tipi sat last year.  Remnants of the last fire is still there.  I laugh when I think of this fire, my dear friend and I slept in the tipi that very cold night in November.  She kept putting logs on the fire that night, she claims never to have been so cold in her life.  I don't believe this, it wasn't that bad! 

I can't help but smile when I work on the grounds at the tipi area.  I remember occasions when we have had full moon drumming.  I almost fall off the mower laughing and remembering the night a friend (male) was pushed to the back of the tipi while three women moved in to spend the night and share the same fire.  I remember my grandchildren spending the night with me and the morning thunderstorm that shook the earth.

I can't wait to get the tipi up again, I need to connect again to sleeping on the earth.  I need my friends to come and share it with me.  I need to drum under the full moon.  I need to hear the flutes inside the tipi, the sound of the flute and the smoke of the fire, carrying our prayers into the night sky to the Creator.

Ahhh, I feel better already................


  1. hi Cynthia... try letting the weeds grow this year and spend more time on the hammock. We are leaving for Ireland today.. you know my advise to you is merely advise to myself. I love you friend... you are awesome..see ya soon

  2. ahhhh, nothing is out of sync. We should not have expectations as will always be disappointed one way or another. And who named a weed a weed,anyway! Miss you!