Meandering Thoughts

Meandering Thoughts

Friday, March 12, 2010

Almost Forty One Years

Richard and I are ready for spring, we have been locked up too long together in this house!  Oh dear, you'd think that after almost forty one years of marriage and almost six years of retirement we'd have this all worked out.  Well, we do have it worked out.  We have found that if we both have things that keep us busy, maybe it is the routine, we are much more able to spend our time together in better humor.

We have spent the mornings this winter, sleeping late, having coffee and chatting about this and that for another couple of hours and then we start making a move to do something.  In the wintertime it could be moving snow, writing a blog or reading a book.   Oh, there are days when we have important things to do, but mostly it is a leisurely time for us.  This winter has been long, we are both anxious to do something to give us more of a routine.  It's starting to effect our conversations in the morning, we suddenly don't understand what the other is saying.  It's as if we speak foreign language to one another or maybe it has always been this way, now it's just getting on our nerves........   I say this with all the humor I can find.  We have been married for almost forty one years, we are bound to still discover differences.  Maybe not so much a discovery but after a long winter I need to practice more tolerance!

Richard is the kind of guy that loves to be busy, he is not happy about inactivity.  He has been busy, if you like to move snow.  He has this wonderful old Model A 1931 Ford pick-up truck.  He is devouring catalogs of parts and making wish lists and constantly talking about this or that part.  All of which I hear, but don't understand most of the time.   I have heard the same conversation about the same parts wish list for the entire winter...............

I am looking forward to the mornings starting by 7am, coffee and breakfast done by 8am and we are both moving into a productive day.   He takes care of a farm and house on the other side of Cedarville, in the summer he mows 30 acres a week of "yard" for the non resident owner.  When he walks out the door, then my day can start too.   I don't have to explain why I'm on the computer, I don't have to explain that I'm running to get some supply or another to finish an art piece.  Life as we know it again becomes easier.

Don't get me wrong, I love my wonderful husband.  He is one of the "good guys".  He would do anything for me and does.  I have mentioned before that I give him short lists, a thing or two that just has to be done before flute circle or whatever, he does it willingly and without question.   I wish I could be like him!  Why do I question everything?    He also is so wonderful about fixing coffee and my breakfast every morning!
He unloads the dishwasher, he has fed my horses all winter.   He cleans the walk from the house to the studio when it is snow covered, he cleans off my car, just in case I have somewhere to go.  He takes out the trash and catches the studio cats when they won't come back to the studio in the evening.  I could go on and on.

I love that he can talk to everyone, that he supports my artistic life, he never questions my need for a new flute or that my dear friend and I are going on a road trip.  He supports my need to be who I am.  He loves his children, they always call on him when they need a hand with something, knowing he can fix anything!  Richard is always available when anyone needs a helping hand, his heart is always in the right place.  I love him for all these things and more.

Whew, there is nothing like putting it in writing to see that I am the one that needs a little attitude adjustment!


  1. I understand completely where you are coming from, Cindy. I think you and I are very fortunate to have married kind, nurturing, giving, laid back husbands, BUT there is something about having alone time. I LOVE being alone in my home occcasionally. I also LOVE Gary being at home. We watch tvs in different rooms, but I need having him here. We can love our husband immensely but still not want them around every minute.

    Linda Gayle McDowell

  2. You know Linda, I almost didn't post this blog. I felt it was kind of personal, more about me. Richard is not always the grumpy one. It is a part of me I'm always working on. I decided to post it because, it is what is real, we all live life pretty much with the same feelings I think. :D Yep, we are lucky girls, counting my blessings. Thanks for the comment.

  3. Well Said! Marriage is hard and you are right.. Sometimes the attitude adjustment is within us! LOL! ( did I just say that outloud)?? But, Boy this winter was LOOOONNNGG!
    Your marriage and the ups and downs are inspiring!
    thanks for posting this cynthia!

  4. great writing, thanks for sharing...and you know you are the luckiest gal I know!
    well so I am I guess, we found the one in a million and even having these great guys we are still indidviduals and part of the fun of marriage is the fact that we can still grind on each other ( take this anyway you want)

  5. Thanks for all your comments..... Peggy you crack me up!!!! I'm glad to know it isn't just me! :D

  6. Cynthia,
    Just read your 'Almost 41 Years' post (yes, BOYS read blogs too sometimes! lol). Wanted to say that I loved what you shared. Beautiful thoughts on love and marriage from a woman's perspective. We guys can be curious creatures to live with, that's for sure! You seem to have discovered one of the secrets to living happily with a man - he must have toys to play with! My friendship with Richard illustrates one fact about men - if we can find a toy to talk about, then we can be friends! (Yes, we really are THAT simple! LOL) Love the photo of Richard in his truck. Tell him I can't wait to race him! (I'll give him a 40 car-length head start)

    With Love,