Well, after nearly a month of finding ways to celebrate spring, it is going to be here tomorrow. The first day of spring. Well, that is what the calendar tells me. I know it didn't suddenly happen, spring has been growing daily, becoming spring doesn't happen overnight.
The same can be said of my birthday. Today is my birthday, I didn't become who I am today, overnight. I have taken sixty one years to become who I am today. It has be a slow and steady journey. I began my journey on the Medicine Wheel in the East, the place of the rising sun, the beginning of all things new, a season of spring. Maybe that is why I find such joy in Spring.
I wonder how I came to be this age so quickly. I can remember things so clearly in my mind of fifty years ago, as if it were yesterday. I remember thinking when I was a teen, that thirty was OLD. I changed my mind about that about the time I was twenty-eight. Of course, when I reached thirty, I was sure fifty was OLD. I think I wish I was fifty again, that seems young to me now...... What seems old to me now?
I'm afraid to say, I fear as soon as I say it, I will become it. I'm not ready to go to that place.
How does time pass so quickly? Have I really been married almost forty one years? Good grief, we dated when I was sixteen, married when I was twenty! Have we really raised three wonderful children and now have six wonderful grand children? Sometimes I'll pass a window and see my reflection and wonder who that person is! She looks so much like her Mother. Then I understand it to be my reflection. I see myself in my daughters too, if not in looks, but in the way they can move and run after the children. I really don't understand what has happened to that person, when did it change for me? It didn't happen over night, it crept up on me and changed who I thought I was. I am still that person, inside. I still think I am young. I am shocked when I look in the mirror and see more gray hair than I thought I had. I am surprised when I look at my hands and no longer see the youth in them.
Don't get me wrong, gray hair doesn't bother me and I love that my hands tell the story of the work they have done through the years. My knees are creaky and I wear glasses, but that is not what I am, it is a part of who I am. I still love everything to do with nature, I just can't get out and walk the trails as far as I'd like. I can sit quietly now and do things I would never had patience to do when I was younger. I love diving into an art project and spend hours trying to create something amazing. There are so many things left for me to discover.
Today I find myself on the Medicine Wheel, looking to the east, seeing the beginnings of new things, the season of spring. I am here today and happy to be here again! Happy Birthday and Happy Spring!